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Right Speech
We have become a world saturated with words, opinion, and advice. Blogs, vlogs, newsletters (irony taken), posts that can all go global at the push of a button.
We cannot fail to notice the impact on our headspace of the information overloaded world that we now live in, we regularly have to schedule our adult ‘time outs’, to rest our weary minds. And a whole industry has risen to meet the demand for these time outs, cue mindfulness apps etc.
What struck us over the summer break that we take here, for our own human maintenance, is the concept of Right Speech.
What is Right Speech?
Taken from the Buddhist dharma and in particular the Noble Eightfold Path: Right Speech, Right Action and Right Livelihood make up an important part of that path. The other elements for those wondering is – Right Mindfulness, Right Intention, Right View, Right Concentration, and Right Effort. It’s a pretty good path!
Right speech isn’t as simple as saying kind words it’s a wholehearted expression of wise compassion. In our oftentimes ‘quick to react’ busy world, technology has given us a culture that seems saturated with “wrong” speech — communication that is biased, judging, hateful and deceptive. This, in turn, engenders disharmony, acrimony, and even physical violence.
We may think of violent, hateful words as being less wrong than violent action. We may even think of violent words as being justified at times. But violent words, thoughts, and actions arise together and support each other. The same can be said for peaceful words, thoughts, and actions.
Consider biases at work, something every working parent knows about and sadly may have experienced. Whether explicit or implicit (right speech isn’t just about what is spoken, it’s about non-verbal communication also) our communication affects the other in negative or positive ways. We have coached parents at work who have gone so far as to leave their organisations because of biased, judging communication, whether spoken or felt, maybe you have experienced that too?
Right Speech in practice
The beauty of right speech is when we practice it we tend to ‘pull’ it from others too and so a virtuous cycle ensues.
The basics are pretty simple:
- No false speech (lies or deception)
- No speaking of others in a way that slanders
- No rude or abusive language
- No idle talk or gossip
Simple but not easy, and not a case of ‘thou shalt not” but speaking wholeheartedly, truthfully, in a way that promotes harmony, inclusion and good will.
It’s a path. We all slip off the path, awareness allows us to course correct as we go.
Right Speech is particularly tricky when we are in conflict, most of us rush through conflict conversations keen to get them over and done with, Right Speech would encourage us to slow down, to be mindful, to make conflict conversations useful for all parties; and to acknowledge how painful they are. Mindfulness includes mindfulness of what’s going on inside ourselves. If we aren’t paying attention to our own emotions, and taking care of ourselves, tension and suffering build up. And then inevitably we explode.
Essentially Right Speech allows us to work things through in relationship, which incidentally is a really positive sign of mature leadership, and a vital skill for parenting too.
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