It is the ability to increase the distance between ourselves and the situation so that we can change the way we approach and think about it.
A good distancing question to ask yourself is what will I think of this in a month or a year from now? It helps us to notice when we are amplifying the moment and to see the event and its consequences in a broader context.
Another suggestion is to imagine the advice that you would give to a friend in your situation. It is often so much easier to help others because we can suspend some of the immediate emotional and psychological reactions we might be experiencing.
In coaching we call this meta positioning – accessing a location outside of a situation to view the situation more objectively.
*These words were produced for our Advent Calendar in December 2020.